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Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.