Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.
How come the voices inside of a crazy person`s head never say shit like "hey, go to the gym" or "hey, cure cancer" or "hey, don`t be crazy"?
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"