Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
I bet the hardest part of working the poison control hotline is not finishing your sentences with "...you ignorant dumbass"
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
Sometimes my life feels like a 40 year long episode of Punk`d...
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
It`s no fun if you have permission.