Daily Silly Status

I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..

You have a point. It`s just not very sharp

Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas

I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart

Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.

When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.

Know your customer. Think like an idiot.

"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.

Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.

if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.

If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......

Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................

Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...

My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out

I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.