Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
My tricks aren`t for kids.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.