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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
I can`t decide what`s more embarrassing - the fact that I still live out of a suitcase, or that I`m a professional ventriloquist dummy.
Bathtub` spelled backwards is still `bathtub`. It`s not, but for a second there, you believed me.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.