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Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.