Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen