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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Nothing embarrasses a psychic more that throwing them a surprise party.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.