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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.