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I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.