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What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes