Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me `Will you be putting it up yourself?` I told him, `No, you sicko, it`s going in the living room!`
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."