Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
cuss words = sentence enhancers
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.