Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I flunked anger management class.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.