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I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.