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A wise man once said nothing.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Save time. See it my way.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
Smelling another person should be a choice.