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I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
Adulthood is basically sadness and paying bills.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.