Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
And then her mood ring just...exploded
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Iām amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
On cold mornings like this I just tell outrageous lies and hope my pants catch fire.