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A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
The nice thing about being single is when you`re setting the silverware, it doesn`t matter which side you put the remote on.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.