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Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.