Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
I just ran a .003048K
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"