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So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
No one is as ugly as their driver`s license, and nobody is attractive as their profile picture.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it`s considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it`s called "cheating."
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.