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I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don`t. So, from now on I`m only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.