Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.