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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.