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Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."