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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I`d choke to death swallowing it.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
This beer tastes like Iām going to text you later.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
The first sign of laziness:
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.