Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Attention fuels immaturity
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?