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I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
Three weeks without a signal typo!
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."