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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.