Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”