Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Ever been completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.
This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?