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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.