Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
"Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don`t have kids
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
"Wow, you look good today!” is not a compliment if it comes with a genuinely surprised look.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.