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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
My mom says I`m special.
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.