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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
I`m sorry, I`ll be busy this weekend walking around my house with mini alcohol bottles and fun size candy bars pretending I`m a giant.
Sometimes just to annoy my therapist, I ask him, "So how does my lack of progress make you feel?"
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought Iād take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn`t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don`t know what is!
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.