Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.