Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was thinking about selling my old phone but I think it knows too much.
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...