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Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
You can always tell the guys that masturbate a lot by looking at their hands. If you look close enough you can see their wedding ring.
Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I`m not good in bed.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
is spending my children´s inheritance.
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.