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As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
I walked into a bar in my pirate suit and a ships wheel in my pants.... The bartender asked... "Why do you have a wheel in your pants"? I replied "Argh.. it`s driving me nuts".
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
hilarious
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.