Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
Plan B includes margaritas.
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Warning: I just get weirder.
My life coach just benched me.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store