Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.