Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Next time you ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and just as it starts to move, tap the person in front of you and say, "these just fell out of your seat."