Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I’m heading north to start a new life.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??