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Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
Inspirational status: Today’s probably going to suck. Don’t be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.