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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?