Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.