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If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
Lord, it`s me... Can you close your eyes for a couple minutes while I deal with a slight problem?
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?