Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)