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I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
when i die i want to be thrown out of an airplane with a superman costume
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.