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Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
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My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.