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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
So can we just skip to summer now?
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!