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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.