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People will do odd things to get even.
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
This recliner and I go way back.
Hash browns not tags.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"